This morning I woke up and asked my daughter if she wanted to go for a walk. She said YES! WHAT!?!?! and I said to myself “Ok, so hurry up mom and get your shoes on fast before she changes her mind!”…
We ended up walking 4 miles around our beautiful neighborhood, to the local grocery, and back home. Total time was over an hour… That’s over an hour of talking to my baby girl who is soon to be a teenager and growing up faster than I want… so today’s walk was an amazing gift for a beautiful Sunday morning. And honestly, she did most of the talking! So, I did most of the listening and was blessed by how God is working in her life, and how mature she is about all the challenges that kids face these days. I could really end this blog post here but in the midst of reflecting on the time this morning… it made me think of a couple of other things I wanted to share.
The last couple of weekends have been great! There have been several social activities that I’ve been able to connect with some of the special people in our life. During each of these occasions, people gave me encouragement on the progress I’m making and some noticed a new kind of energy per se than maybe I had in the past.
It’s been almost 10 months now since I decided to reclaim my joy… None of which has been easy and my transformation process is still ongoing… “Day by day,” I tell myself… “focus on progress”… “stay on your mat Susan”… I continue to focus on being present in the moment, and being kind to myself by giving myself room to be human, and having space to focus just on me… Daily moments to regain focus, to breathe, to forgive, to be grateful. Sometimes it’s taking a yoga class, taking a long walk, and other moments are more playful in nature… like working on inversions in the privacy of my bedroom (ummmm… that was something I would have never said 10 months ago!).
The main point I guess I want to emphasize is Transformation takes time… Each of us is uniquely different and it’s up to us to dig deep to understand what’s necessary to make our next steps successful. It’s not about quick fixes, but really investing in ourselves to push through whatever is holding us back… So many of us are walking around with hurt from past experiences or negative views of ourselves… we don’t like the way our bodies look or the way we feel, … but, the good news is… our current situation isn’t permanent. …but, we have to commit to change… We can’t truly be changed if we act the same… Sometimes that’s changing our diet, our exercise routine… other times it’s removing negativity from our lives.
Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
In this Psalm, David was crying out to God to create him a clean heart. That his heart was in too much disarray to be repaired… He wanted to be renewed.
Recently I bought some new clothes. Before I put my new clothes in my closet, I had to clean out the clothes still hanging in there. My old clothes no longer fit… because I’ve changed. … because I’ve changed on the inside, my body has changed on the outside too. Cleaning out that closet was actually me letting go of a place I no longer want to be… a place that God never intended for me to be. Hanging up the new items is a reminder of the transformation that is taking place… evidence that I’m being renewed… for this I’m grateful.